What is Love??  (Baby Don't Hurt Me…???)

Apologies to Haddaway.

Seems like every songwriter in the world takes a shot at what is the meaning of love. Here is mine.

Is it a chemical reaction? Is it one gland calling out to another? Is it based on what YOU feel at any given moment? Is it a commitment to another person come what may?

At any given moment it could be any of these, or all of them. After dating my fiancé for a couple of years I found myself walking along a river reflecting on if I really loved her.  I didn't really feel any swell of emotion when bringing her to mind. The lustful desire for her body had tempered. I thought about times when I felt angry towards her. So at that moment, I was feeling rather bland about her. About to conclude that I must not really love her, a thought bubbled up into my mind. 

“Do you love your mom?”

Since adolescence I had a strife filled relationship with my mom. She could be great and loving for a couple of days and then the “When are you gonna amount to something” judgements would show up. 

Do I love my mom? … Well, Yeah, I think.  Another question came to mind:

"How would you react if you suddenly learn she had died?"

WOW! That's harsh. I'd be devastated, heartbroken, regretful, …..

“What if the same happened to your fiancé?”  Answer: The same! I do love her, even though at the moment, I “feel” nothing.

I was being taught that actual love grows beyond the feel good surface matters of attraction, lust, & compatibility. Love is actually a comittment. A choice to pursue the best for the other. It's not 50/50. It's 100/0. You determine to continue seeking the best for your love, no matter what you get back!

I found myself reading 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible and found this passage: 

“4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Endures through every circumstance??!! That can be a challenge right there.

I want to live that passage, but am far from exhibiting it in my daily life.  

We married and after a number of years that Bible Verse came into play as I strove to write her a Valentines day song. “Love is when we work all day, and still are FRIENDS AT NIGHT!”

I hope you will listen to FRIENDS AT NIGHT on your favorite platform . Then play it for someone you love.